Dear Miriam Community,

I can hardly believe we are near the end of the school year! What an incredible year it has been for Miriam’s children and those of us who work with them.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotion and pride at our school. Last Friday, we celebrated 12 remarkable seniors as they walked across the stage with confidence. These students have spent years learning to navigate unique challenges such as reading and writing disabilities, communication disorders, and autism. They have worked to overcome and manage barriers like anxiety, ADHD, and difficult personal situations, emerging with a clear plan for their next chapters.

Knowing the unique journey each family has traveled, there was hardly a dry eye in the room as their biggest fans looked on with such pride.
The celebrations continue this Friday, as 20 eighth-graders are promoted to high school. Whether we have had the privilege of teaching these students for one year or many, their growth is remarkable. We always work with urgency so that children get what they need to be successful.

Managing the Tension of Moving On

Even when our students are fully equipped for their next steps, transitions can be challenging. Graduation is one of the most stressful times in a person's life because it represents a bridge between the known and the unknown.
Whether it is moving from kindergarten to first grade or from high school to college, the stress of this change is deeply felt at every age. We often see cognitive dissonance, which is a tension between wanting to remain in a place that is familiar and comfortable and wanting new experiences and challenges. 

Change can seem overwhelming, even when it is something your child has wanted.

Remember: Transitions are times of celebration for accomplishments, mastery of skills, and maturation. By the time graduation rolls around, most children are ready for the next chapter. Keep reminding yourself and your child of this very important fact as you negotiate the upcoming change.

Common Behaviors to Watch For

As transitions or graduations approach, it is normal to see a variety of behaviors in children. You might notice:

• Heightened Emotionality: They can be overly emotional and may be easily weepy, frustrated, or snippy.
• Executive Functioning Gaps: Skills such as following multi step directions, time management, and inhibition suddenly seem lacking.
• Intense Negativity: They may become incredibly negative whether it is about their current school or the school they will be attending.
• Social Shifting: Long-time friendships may seem to dissolve while new ones form.
• Fear of the Unknown: They are often fearful of their new environment, worrying about the ability to make new friends, meeting advanced grade expectations, or simply knowing their way around a new building.
• The Need to Win: Students tend to quibble with peers, teachers, and family members about seemingly irrational issues. They feel they have to be right and win every argument.

Strategies for Parents

As a parent, it is vital to understand that these behaviors, although incredibly challenging, are very normal. Truly, it doesn’t matter what age children are transitioning. I recommend taking a deep breath and considering these ideas:

Remind Them That They Have Tools: Remind your child that they can use strategies that have worked in the past, such as checklists, phone reminders, or a calendar that lists important details and upcoming events.

• Look Beyond the “Snit”: Try to actively listen to what might be bothering them. Allow a little time after an outburst so your child can calm down. Later, ask, "You seem to be having a hard time. What is going on, and what can I do to help?"
• Problem Solving: If your child is going to a different high school than their best friend, brainstorm realistic ways they can stay in touch. FaceTime is a great way for kids to see each other.
• Set Boundaries on Quibbling: If they are in the mood to argue, simply say, "You seem to be having a hard time, but I am not going to talk about this anymore," and walk away.
• Demystify the New School: Help your child acclimate by taking a tour or asking for a video tour. Look at newsletters, the school website, or videos together so your child can visualize the new surroundings. You can also ask for a copy of the schedule so you can mentally rehearse each day together.

When to Reach Out

If your child's behavior is alarming and seems to be accelerating, reach out to their teachers, school administration, or counselor for help.

Most importantly, be empathetic. Do not try to minimize your child's stress about the change to the summer, a new classroom, or a new school. Instead, validate their feelings and reiterate that while the transition may seem hard right now, you have every confidence that they are ready for this change. The more you remain calm, the more likely they are to follow your lead.

Miriam staff are here to help everyone. Please reach out.

Thank you for everything you do to support Miriam’s students. Their success is a testament to our collective efforts to give them the best life possible.

With Every Good Wish,
 

Meg Bamford, Head of Miriam School and Learning Center